I {hope} you dance ...

I wrote this post a little more than a year ago ...
And
I was thinking about it tonight.
Thinking about my life and marveling that FINALLY I can say
I AM DANCING
Truly dancing ... the way I was meant to.
The way I always have.
The way I wondered why I wasn't anymore.

And I'm thankful.

***

Here's the original post ... and ... if you have 5 minutes and 03 seconds ... listen to the song.

Really listen.

And ask yourself ... when you get the choice, do you dance ?

I hope so ...

***
January 21, 2009

I heard this song for the first time tonight and just have to share it.

I've had it on repeat for about an hour. Good thing Rory has long since gone to bed.
He's not keen on the whole repeat thing !

Push play. Listen to the words.

Do you dance ?

Do I ?

Not for a long time.
Except at home.

It started at the beginning of our life here in Australia.
For the first time ever, in all of my traveling of the world, in all of my life ...
I felt like I didn't belong.
Like I wasn't able to be me and have people like me.

There started a long journey of me pulling back.
Of hiding.
Definitely not dancing.

Loneliness is a terrifying thing.
I'm not lonely anymore.
But I was.
For many years.
Desperately lonely.
And not able to dance ...

Here I sit, in tears.
Trying to express something that I can't.
Not in words.
Not to anyone who hasn't walked this journey with me.

I want to dance.
I'm close.
My arms are spread.
My heart is open.
My outlook is bright.

I just need ... to dance.

When I get the choice ... to dance !!

I Hope You Dance
LeAnn Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)

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Trash Can Play Time

Yes.
He is sitting
in a trash can playing lego.
He assures me it is comfy and
that I should try it ! Not on your life !
We've started something new with Jono.
We've been thinking he needs to be able to have
some more privileges, you know, now that he is getting older
and more responsible. A couple of weeks ago we started letting him
stay up later than Alia. She goes to bed at 7:30 and he doesn't have to go to
bed until 8:15. He is allowed to play in the toy room, quietly, from 7:30 - 8:10.
We have given him a clock and it is his responsibility to make sure his toys are cleaned up
and he is in bed by 8:15. He has done so well ! One night, early on, he was still in there cleaning up at 8:20. He gave me some excuse. I told him that with privilege came responsibility and if he couldn't be responsible to make sure he got to bed on time that he would not be able to 'stay up late' anymore. I told him that from now on, if he didn't get to by by 8:15, the next night he
would go to bed at the same time as Alia. It's been two weeks and he hasn't been
late to bed. Not one time ! He comes out at 8:10, gives us kisses and cuddles
and then gets in bed ! It's incredible. I think it is having the desired effect.
Teaching him responsibility and helping him to feel that little bit more
independent but in our safe environment. I'm seeing some
improvements in attitude as well. We're not 'there'
yet but as Rory
said to
me

yesterday.
"We are getting there ..."
I'm glad he thinks that. It gives me hope.
And that, friends, is all I need.

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