I {hope} you dance ...

I wrote this post a little more than a year ago ...
And
I was thinking about it tonight.
Thinking about my life and marveling that FINALLY I can say
I AM DANCING
Truly dancing ... the way I was meant to.
The way I always have.
The way I wondered why I wasn't anymore.

And I'm thankful.

***

Here's the original post ... and ... if you have 5 minutes and 03 seconds ... listen to the song.

Really listen.

And ask yourself ... when you get the choice, do you dance ?

I hope so ...

***
January 21, 2009

I heard this song for the first time tonight and just have to share it.

I've had it on repeat for about an hour. Good thing Rory has long since gone to bed.
He's not keen on the whole repeat thing !

Push play. Listen to the words.

Do you dance ?

Do I ?

Not for a long time.
Except at home.

It started at the beginning of our life here in Australia.
For the first time ever, in all of my traveling of the world, in all of my life ...
I felt like I didn't belong.
Like I wasn't able to be me and have people like me.

There started a long journey of me pulling back.
Of hiding.
Definitely not dancing.

Loneliness is a terrifying thing.
I'm not lonely anymore.
But I was.
For many years.
Desperately lonely.
And not able to dance ...

Here I sit, in tears.
Trying to express something that I can't.
Not in words.
Not to anyone who hasn't walked this journey with me.

I want to dance.
I'm close.
My arms are spread.
My heart is open.
My outlook is bright.

I just need ... to dance.

When I get the choice ... to dance !!

I Hope You Dance
LeAnn Womack

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)

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The Tree is Growing ...

This morning when I woke up I found a comment from a friend on Facebook. Don't you just love Facebook ? This particular friend is one that I went to high school with in Spain. Now ... for us military brats who moved around our whole lives, friends were something you had for a few years and then left ... most of whom you'd never hear from again. Until Facebook ! This Navy Brats DREAM COME TRUE !! I love being in contact with so many 'old' friends !! And of course, I love being able to be in daily contact with so much of my family ! It's like I'm there ... or they're here ... only we're not. You know ?

Anyway ... this is not a post about Facebook ... the comment from my friend said this ...

"Bonnie, love, love, love the thankful tree idea!!! I am totally going to steel it! :o) Can you elaborate on it a little more? You are so creative and I'm just not sure what materials to use, how it should look, what kind of tree, etc. I know, I know...I'm thinking too much and making it harder than I probably should, but any input you have would be appreciated. Love the blog!!! Thanks."

And so, in answer to her question, I bring you the following post. Here are the very basic materials that we use ... paper, scissors, blu-tack, and a pen. And a little container to keep it all in.

I didn't go out and buy paper. I just rummaged through my scrap paper drawer and tried to find earthy tones for the 'tree trunk' ... here's what I came up with ... If you don't have scraps around the house, I'm sure you could find some cheap packs of off cuts at a craft shop, or even a dollar store !

Our supplies live on the end of the kitchen counter ...



Close to the dinning room table ... since we write our things we are thankful for after dinner.

The 'tree' is on a wall just opposite the dinning room table. I wanted it on a wall that was visible to us regularly ... since we are at the table a few times a day, this works ! Also ... it's enough 'out of the way' that it's not something people see until they sit at our table !

I love how it is developing ! And I love the things everyone is thankful for. You can read them all in the picture but I'll tell you who wrote a few of them. All of mine have exclamation marks ! I just love exclamation marks !! (if you are a frequent reader of my blog that probably comes as no surprise !!)

We don't give the kids any ideas ... we haven't had to, they come up with these on their own !

Jono (8) ... natcher (nature), church, sports, life, games, toys, rip stick, and thankfulness. Isn't that adorable ? He's thankful for thankfulness.

Alia (6) ... pets, love, grandma and grandad, jono, mommy and daddy, water, friends, my house, and me. I LOOOOOVE that she is thankful for herself !!

and Rory ... bbq (we just got a new weber !), laughter, food, healthy bodies, eyes, family, music.

It's not really looking much like a tree ...

We all keep making jokes about it. But ... I don't want to stifle anyone's creativity so I haven't said anything about the TRIANGLES (!!) ha ha. And I'm not overly concerned that it look like an actual tree. Once it gets tall enough we'll add 'leaves' and maybe then it will look like a tree ...

But even if it never does ...

... i don't mind !

It is serving it's purpose ! I love the thankfulness that it is cultivating in our family. I love that it is there where we see it regularly and that it's a topic of conversation. I love that later, when times maybe are rough, it will serve as a reminder of all that we have to be thankful for. Because really, when it comes down to it ... we have SO MUCH to be thankful for ! I think even after 12 months of 'growing our thankful tree' we will not even have scratched the surface ...

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The Thankful Tree

The same day we started the whole unprocessed thing, we also started our "thankful tree."

We've got a little box with all our supplies that lives just opposite the dining room table.



Each night after dinner we write one thing we are thankful for on a piece of the paper.

These are my favorites so far.
Alia ... first night is thankful for LOVE.
Jono ... second night (first night was his ripstick !) is thankful for LIFE.

Once we've written them down we stick them to the wall where our tree will 'grow'.

I'll share the progress with you from time to time ...
and of course, more of my favorite things that we are thankful for !!

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Journal

I have a tendency to be negative.
It's true.
Unfortunate as it may be.

One thing I've started doing when I feel like
being negative,
complaining,
whining,
or throwing myself a pity party
is
trying to focus on what I'm thankful for.

I've started a journal.
A nice leather one that I bought a while ago and have been saving,
you know,
for something special.

And so, I write.
Doesn't matter what it is.
I just list the things as they come to mind.

Here's a page from a couple days ago.
Just one page ...

It helps.
It helps me put things in perspective.
It helps me take my eyes off my situation or whatever it is that's 'buggin' me.
It's simple.
And so,
I will continue to do it.
Continue to write.
Continue to be thankful.
Because, really,
I have
so
so
so
much to be thankful for.

How about you ?

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