The Cure for Writer's Block

In the past several weeks  I have occasionally sat down to "blog", but felt a strong case of writer's block.  I stare at my screen, blank-faced and defeated.  I feel annoyed for my lack of creativity and frustrated that the Holy Spirit is not inspiring me!  I love Defining Beauty, and I have been disappointed for feeling like I have nothing to say...

I am not a writer, though I obviously enjoy pretending.  I do remember however, some writing advice from a past English class.  "If you have writer's block, just start writing".  My teacher told us to start with a thought, a journal entry, or anything to help us get started.  If that still did not work, she suggested we start copying the line "I do not know what to write..." until something came up.  And most often, something eventually came up and I started to write.

Another area in life where I often get "writer's block" is prayer.  Sometimes I feel discouraged that God is not listening, or I simply get so busy that I do not make time for prayer.  I get in the habit of not praying, and suddenly, it is like I do not know where to start, and do not know what to pray about.  It is like meeting an old acquaintance for coffee, and falling into an awkward silence because we just realized that we hardly know each other anymore.  I fall into the trap of wondering whether God even wants to hear from me anymore!

I think that in this case, the best advice one could give would be to "just start praying".  Turn off the distractions and close the door.  Go to adoration.  Don't know what to say?  Use a prayer written by a saint, or somebody else.  Go to mass.  Say a rosary.  Read a spiritual book.  Just start praying!  It may feel as though you are starting small, but it is a starting point, and most often, we eventually start to pray...

Now, hopefully this post will be just the muse I need to help me fight my case of writer's block.

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F is for Femininity

There are so many meanings to femininity - I'm hoping a couple of the other girls chime in on this because as I've been thinking about what to write about and I've come up with about 10,000 ideas. (Or, at least more than 5 anyway...)

1) Do I write about my husband's current favorite bible quote: "Who is she that cometh forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon, bright as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array? " - Song of Solomon 6:10

It's traditionally thought to refer to Mother Mary, and I love it as a broader description of femininity.

2) Do I talk about what wikipedia has down as the "cultural norms" of femininity: Cleavage, Corsets, Foot binding, High heels, Modest dress (specifically Muslim female dress), and Neck rings. (I looked that last one up.) Turns out that in some African and Asian cultures long necks are considered pretty, so they put all these rings around them to make them look longer. Anyway, *what* a list!

3) Do I talk about what Paul VI said in one of his Discourses: "...it is evident that women are meant to form part of the living and working structure of Christianity in so prominent a manner that perhaps not all their potentialities have yet been made clear." And NO, this does not mean that one day women will be priests, that is a male potentiality. A woman's goal in life should not be to try (and fail miserably) to take on as much masculine duties and characteristics as possible. But maybe some future female will explain to the Church how all people can fulfill their calling to true contemplation of God. Maybe women will come to a deeper understanding of why they tend to be "naturally religious" and this realization will change society's whole vision of religion. It could be anything. Who knows?

4) OR I could raddle on about John Paul II's phrase in On the Dignity and Vocation of Women (of which I've only read a tiny bit) "To serve means to reign." He talks about how Mary after giving her fiat at the Annunciation, immediately defines her new relationship "I am the handmaid of the Lord" (Lk 1:38). -- by the way -- I also love that she feels the need to define her relationship. I mean, isn't that always what we girls want to do when we get into a new relationship? Are we just friends? Are we in love? Are we not, but will be? What's the deal?! John Paul II says that Mary by saying this "takes her place with Christ's messianic service." And in Christ's Kingdom, there is a "royal dignity of service;" Christ continually says that He has come to serve. Mary realizes this, and when she is told that she has been chosen to be the Mother of God, immediately sees that she will reign as queen. BUT her reigning will consist of serving. So when she says "I am the handmaid of the Lord," she is also saying that she will be queen.

And do you think that Disney came up with the idea that all girls are princesses? I think not. Since Mary is in many ways the culmination of true femininity, her virtues show us our own feminine virtues God has implanted in us. So when a little girl "randomly" dresses up in a gown and declares herself queen or princess, she is really expressing what Mary expressed at the Annunciation: I am made to reign (but reign by serving).

I should probably stop here since I'm not sure that that last one was all too clear... and since the next idea had to do with Free Will, and our will's submissiveness, and our feminine calling to be submissive to our husband's and ultimately Christ... (and you can land in heresy REALLY easily when talking about Free Will) I should probably just leave off here until I think about it a little more.

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E is for Eucharist

I remember the days when I used to love starting off my morning with daily mass.  I would bring my magnificat with me to follow along with the prayers and readings, and I would break fast with the eternal heavenly breakfast of champions- the Eucharist.  I always walked out feeling centered on Christ and ready to tackle my day.

It is disappointing to say, but lately going to mass with a young toddler leaves me feeling nothing but exhausted.  Even when he behaves it is challenging to pay attention to readings and focus on prayer.  We spend most of the time walking around the church, going in and out of the blessed sacrament chapel, looking through picture books and taking short breaks outside.  Although I still subscribe to my magnificat, it spends most of its time at home on my coffee table.  Basically I do whatever it takes to keep my baby calm during mass and to make it to communion so that I can receive Jesus.

I am often tempted to consider "what's the point?"  Am I truly feeding my soul by being physically present but distracted in every other way?  That is when I have to remind myself that God chose the vocation of motherhood for me.  If He wanted me to spend my day in prayer, I would be a religious, not a Mom.  I may not be receiving very many graces through prayer at mass anymore, but I have to trust that I am earning those graces in other ways, mainly by taking care of my son.  And when will I be in a better state to take care of my baby than after receiving Jesus in the Eucharist?

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Scheduling Time for Prayer

I recently resolved that I need to give my prayer life a "makeover".  My son is over a year old and I have yet get the hang of fitting prayer into my busy mommy lifestyle.  We try to make it to daily mass a couple of times a week and I say (but not always pray) some prayers out of habit, but it is not enough for me.  Here are my first two goals, maybe you can help keep me accountable!


1. Morning Offering

This seemed so much easier to remember when I had control over what time my alarm woke me up.  These days I try to squeeze in as much sleep as possible before my baby wakes me up.  Once he is awake I must immediately tend to his needs and often postpone my morning prayers until...well, naptime or sometimes even bedtime. 

The morning offering is so important however, especially for moms and anyone with a busy schedule.  When we pray the morning offering, we offer everything-- our joys, our sacrifices, our work, our relationships and our actions-- to Jesus.  In essence, our entire day becomes a prayer, offered up to God.  This is such a gift for moms who do not have time to spend kneeling in a chapel, because suddenly the little things like our chores, the sacrifice in our constant exhaustion, and the love that we share with our children becomes a prayer to Jesus.

Here is an example of a morning offering:

 Oh Jesus, through the immaculate heart of Mary, I offer you my prayers, works, joys and sufferings of this day, in union with the Holy sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world, in thanksgiving for your favors, in reparation for my sins and for all the intentions of my relatives and friends and especially for those of our Holy Father.  Amen.

2.  Time Management

I used to consider time management one of my strongest skills.  During high school and college, I spent half of my waking hours in class and the other half training in dance.   Any spare moments in between were used for homework, studying and some socializing.  Most importantly, I knew what I would be doing at any given time, and could more easily plan my prayers accordingly.  Nowadays my schedule goes according to others, and for this reason it is easy for me to feel unproductive and let my prayer life to slip.  For this reason, I have decided to reevaluate my time management because it should help me to accomplish one primary goal:  to do God's will. 

I have found several tricks of the trade that seem to be helping me use my days in the fullest way possible.  The first one is creating detailed to-do lists.  If a project can be broken down, I list each part separately.  This helps me be most productive, because I feel as though I am accomplishing a task along the way.  I use my cell phone to keep track of one "master to-do list" that I add to constantly and check off items as I finish them.

The second tool that is helping me immensely is to set timers.  When I only have a given amount of time (during my son's naps) to accomplish several things, I literally set my kitchen timer and work on one project at a time until time is up.  This helps me to stay focused on my task, move on to the next job on my list, and to avoid running into distractions.  More than anything, it is helping me to prioritize taking time to rest and pray.  My personality does not like to relax until all of my work is done, but this is virtually impossible with little ones because let's face it, the work never ends.  Designating fifteen-minutes of play time or ten-minutes of constructive rest has helped me find a better Martha vs. Mary balance to my life. 



These ideas might not work for everybody, but I feel confident that by my prayer life will benefit from making my morning offering a priority and attempting to more effectively manage my time.  Perhaps as I strengthen my one-on-one time with Jesus, He will guide me in new ways to deepen my relationship with Him.  How about you, do you have any advice/suggestions for scheduling time to pray?

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The beauty of a praying girl

My husband's friend is beginning to wake up from his drug induced coma following his brain bleed a week ago. It's been a long week for everyone but full of hope and trust in the Lord. One of my best moments through all of this was hearing about my 3 and a half year old niece's response. We told her that her uncle's friend was sick and we asked her to pray for him. Her parents told us that at least once a day, she'll stop what she's doing and tell her parents, "we need to pray a hail Mary for Matt." What a beautiful example of the importance of children. She really is the cutest thing ever (okay so I'm biased.)

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Where is that darn light switch??

Do you ever look at something in your life and think that maybe it is a test from God? That maybe He is waiting for you to just trust in Him or learn some lesson? At some point though you wonder if you are just dense and not learning the lesson or if you are missing the point all together. I have been reflecting lately on how much we are in the dark with God. Are we really in the dark because of God or do we just not see the darn light switch?

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It has come to my attention in my conversations with Jesus lately that I do not know how to say no. I really do not like that word. At first I thought that maybe it was a problem. Many times people have said to me that I do not stand up for myself or say what I want enough. I spent about a day thinking that I need to learn to say no more often and that it is fine to do what I want sometimes. Then I thought of our blessed mother. Her defining moment was her big YES. Why do I dislike the word no??? Because it closes me off to giving myself for others and living my life in service. I made a decision a while back to use my single state in life (for as long as Jesus sees fit) to serve my family and friends. I decided that I would never be selfish with this time in my life. This shows itself in big and small ways, mostly small. In even very little decisions I try to yield to the desires of others. Those little choices make the big ones easier and Therese said to love in the little things. It is the little choices that do not draw attention of anyone but Jesus. He alone knows and he alone is all that matters. I love living for others. I love not choosing my way. I believe that it helps to drive out my natural selfishness that fallen nature has given me. I love that I am able to serve my friends and family any time they need. Society tells us single women that we need to "live it up" because once we get married it is all over. I think that I am working toward better preparing myself for marriage by spending my time living for others. If God one day calls me to marriage I hope that I am better able to serve my husband and children because of years of practice. I am writing this to encourage all of our single readers to take this time in your life to live at the service of others. Don't worry that you will lose yourself or your desires. Quite the opposite, you will become most who God wants you to be. Like Mary, we define ourselves with our Yes's. It is truly and amazingly fulfilling.

PS: I have waiting a long time to write on this subject because I did not want to appear to be tooting my own horn or being prideful. Please make no mistake. All is due to the Holy Spirit and the intercession of Our Lady.

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