The beauty of a praying girl

My husband's friend is beginning to wake up from his drug induced coma following his brain bleed a week ago. It's been a long week for everyone but full of hope and trust in the Lord. One of my best moments through all of this was hearing about my 3 and a half year old niece's response. We told her that her uncle's friend was sick and we asked her to pray for him. Her parents told us that at least once a day, she'll stop what she's doing and tell her parents, "we need to pray a hail Mary for Matt." What a beautiful example of the importance of children. She really is the cutest thing ever (okay so I'm biased.)

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Being Open to Life

I was recently reflecting about the "openness to life" that our faith calls married couples to.  I realize that this can be a hot topic for many faithful Catholics regarding when/why using Natural Family Planning is morally acceptable. Nevertheless, this debate is not my focus.  Instead I found myself reflecting on the annunciation.

These days it seems as though there are many more "reasons" NOT to have children than ever.  For example, society says that simply being a "newlywed" qualifies couples to refrain from openness to life.  For some newlyweds the adjustment to marriage may constitute a serious reason to postpone children, but this (and other grave factors) are not what I am referring to.  Isn't it odd that babies who arrive 9 months after a honeymoon are suprising (and few) nowadays?  Society tells us to take two, five, ten years to get to know each other, buy a home, travel ect... and then we can start thinking about "trying".  Perhaps it is not the children who should be postponed, but rather the wedding date!

When we examine Mary's situation from our own cultural perspective, we realize that she had every reason not to be open to life.  She was barely a teenager, very poor and unmarried.   If you consider the world she lived in, these reasons could constitute even more graveness than they would today.  There was no Medicaid, no crisis pregnancy centers or shelters, and adultery could be punished by death.  Despite this however, Mary said YES to life.  It is through her YES, her fiat, that Jesus our salvation, came into the world.  Moreover, it might be also be fair to point out that God only asked Mary to be receptive to a child once in her life.  God's will for the Holy Family was to always remain a home of three.  This is also a reminder for us as Catholics, that a marriage that is open-to-life will not always fill a twelve-passenger van.

There are many wonderful Church documents such as Humanae Vitae and the Catechism of the Church that can help us understand the Church's teaching on Christian marriages.  Ultimately, husbands and wives must always pray to follow Mary's example of "thy will be done".  Only He knows what is best for our marriages and families.  It is by following God's will that we can work to build a culture of life... and what is more beautiful than that?

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Happy Birthday to You

My daughter's 2nd birthday is fast approaching and it got me thinking about how our family celebrates birthdays. We really have no traditions yet so I'm trying to establish some with this birthday (there's a tiny chance she'll remember it!)

My family tends to go big for birthdays - they're a family affair and everyone is included. First birthdays are the biggest, and when I finally asked my Grandma why they were such a big deal, they told me that many babies (in the Dominican Republic, where she and most of her family is from) don't make it one year, so it really is reason to celebrate. My own first birthday was quite elaborate: my grandma made me a dress and pinata, I had a cake comparable to a wedding cake, there were flowers and balloons, and even a marionette show. Wish I could remember it! Hubby's family on the other hand tends to do small parties at home, and if you know my hubby you know how much he just looooooves parties and being the center of attention. Right.

So last year when it came time to plan Ella's 1st birthday I felt really stuck in the middle. I wanted to invite everyone in our family and all our friends because I really really really hate excluding people (esp. my extended family because someone always finds out and then gets mad) and the event planner part of me was DYING to plan something. Anything. We had dirt for a backyard but hubby didn't want me to rent a hall or park for the party so he agreed to put in a backyard. And yes, looking back I don't think we needed quite so much food and I didn't need to spend so much money on favors, but at the end of the day we really had a great time, and so did the birthday girl...once she stopped screaming and took a nap.

This year we've decided to start toning things down a little bit. Her birthday will be smaller, but still so special. And we decided that our birthday traditions will include going on a family outing to somewhere special, 3 presents for the birthday kid, and we will celebrate their baptism day as well with cake and relighting their baptismal candle.

I guess to sum it up, you don't need to do something huge and amazing and elaborate every year. Whatever you do will be special to your child :)

Do you have any neat birthday traditions?

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For the Father of my Children...

In honor of my husband, the father of my children, I wanted to take a blog to appreciate all the little things he does, that makes him such a support to me, and an amazing dad to our daughter.

He is consistently striving to lead us closer to Christ by developing his own faith formation so that he can share it with us. He is a strong man who will stand up to defend the faith and his family. He works so hard to support us and simultaneously attempt to share the gospel with the world. When he travels, he’ll take red-eye flights just to avoid traveling for an extra day. If he can make it home to spend time with us before an unexpected evening working, he’ll make the drive back home to see us. On top of that, he's Mr. Fix-it or build-it around the house.

Along with being a hard worker, he is such an amazing support to me by being such an active father. He wakes up with Mina on a regular basis to spend time with her and give me an extra half hour of sleep or a head start on chores before he leaves for work. He takes Mina on little outings like swimming at his parents’ house to give me some R&R and bond with her. He participates in her bedtime routine by reading her stories and singing Disney princess songs with her in Spanish (yes, he knows all the words, hehe). When Mina was young, he’d get up and change her diapers in the middle of the night and volunteered to handle the output while I handled input. He’s into reading parenting books to figure out how to help us raise, happy, healthy, holy children. He LOVES our daughter and showers her with affection and attention. I have no doubt that he will do the same for our son, though in a particular father-son bond.

Thank you to my husband, and to all strong Catholic fathers out there. You are a rare breed and we moms could not do it without you.

And a special thank you to all of our spiritual Fathers who unite us as brothers and sisters in Christ under Holy Mother Church and bring us the sacraments each day.

Happy Father’s Day!

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Be one with the donut.

Yesterday I went to a playdate where the hostess made us doughnuts. It was so easy so I figured I'd share it with y'all. Heat up some oil in a pan (she used olive oil but you can also use veggie or corn oil). Open a pack of biscuit mix (the pre-made kind already in a can), then slice it up and cut out holes using a bottle top. Fry until golden brown. She then had the kids put their donuts in a brown bag that either had cinnamon sugar or powdered sugar and they got to shake it to coat it. Freshly made donuts are amazing!!

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The Sacrifice of Motherhood

At the moment, God is making me very aware of my calling to sacrifice myself, physically for my children. My belly is rapidly expanding with no signs of slowing, while my toddler still very much likes to be carried most of the day, and when I'm not carrying her, I'm usually chasing her around or on my feet doing housework. My body shape is also changing with this pregnancy, and per doctor's orders, I need to resist the urge to work out, and let my body focus on the life growing inside of it. I'm no hero. I'm just fulfilling my basic duties as a wife and mother. While I've been given these physical means to give of myself, they are only opportunities for grace if I offer myself properly. The truth is, we are all called, as women to motherhood, and it is that giving of oneself for another to nurture souls, that makes us all spiritual mothers.

Whether single, married, consecrated, with or without physical children, we all have a choice to accept or reject our privilege to nurture souls. I have single friends who spend their days educating teens in the faith, taking nights and weekends to help students in extracurricular activities like service projects. Others who go to school during the week themselves, and then spend their free time in youth ministry. I know of others who've taken the time while they're single to offer themselves as missionaries for a year at a time in various parts of the world. They show me, how to give of oneself completely to God, and to others.

However, there are many single people who choose not to accept this time to give of themselves in a unique way. They may spend their evenings after work or weekends at bars or parties, involving themselves with men who aren't interested or prepared for marriage, and they wind up losing precious opportunities for growth in virtue. They may find themselves years from now in a particular vocation, wishing they'd better prepared themselves with all the time they had when they were unattached. There's also married women with children who may go on numerous "girls' vacations" just with their friends (can be good at times, just when balanced properly), spending time away from their families, or neglect their relationships with their spouses and children by spending too much time wrapped up in the things of this world. One mom even told me recently that some of her friends would "sleep train" their children at 6 months of age, leaving them in their crib with the door closed, and going downstairs, turning on music and drinking a glass of wine to drown out their infant's cries for his mother. It's very easy to live selfishly no matter what your state in life.

As women, we have a unique characteristic that makes us capable of nurturing souls in a way men can't. Teachers and nurses are most often careers that women pursue, not just because of the schedules. As someone who went through nursing school with men, from my observations, women just make better nurses (though I will say that men can make fantastic ER, OR, or ICU nurses because of their calm, less emotional manner and physical strength). But when you are bringing a wife and daughter in a room to see their dad on a ventilator for the first time after a heart attack, and the doctor is no where to be found, there is something about a woman, whether she's a mother or not, that makes her more capable of guiding these suffering people through this experience with warmth and care. Women are blessed with a particular grace that, if we accept it, can change the world one person at a time.

Just in the last week, my mom has continued to mother me and her granddaughter, as I was on bed-rest. She woke up a the crack of dawn to cook us dinner, then braved traffic for an hour minimum commute to take my very active toddler for the day, and then make the drive back home in the evening. Though she was taking care of my daughter for most of the day, she was still the most in tune with whatever I needed. No one can replace a mom, or compete when it comes to caring for someone. I'll admit, I can't compete with my mother-in-law when it comes to taking care of my husband, though hopefully, with God's grace, I grow to love my husband as selflessly as she does.

We are all called to mother, no matter what state we're in, to feed immortal souls with love, and truth. Mary, Mother of God, and spiritual Mother to all of us on this Earth, pray for us.

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"Are you pregnant yet?"

In the recent weeks, I seem to be getting this question a lot, from everyone from close friends, to my husband, and even my regular confessor. My husband and I are eager to give Mina a little brother or sister, but it seems that it's just not God's will yet. This has given me a lot to think about.

Today, while in mass, I was in the bathroom changing Mina and decided to take a pregnancy test I had in my bag, because I thought there was a possibility I was pregnant, and it would be nice to tell my husband just after the Eucharist. The answer was no, and for a moment, I felt as thought I might shed a tear, particularly when I looked at Mina. I thought of all the joy she brings me, and how much more joy another child would bring. I prayed and offered the moment to Mary and her Son for they know better than I when we should have another child, and we went back into the church.

With Mina waddling around, we decided to head into the cry room for the latter part of mass. It was quite full this morning, and not all with little children, but with a few families with handicapped kids, who have random outbursts, making it tough to sit anywhere else. As soon as I walked in, I couldn't help but think, "Thank you, Lord." Right there in front of me was a lesson. I have no idea why the Lord is choosing this particular spacing for Mina and her brother or sister. I have to realize, though I have no reason to think I'm infertile, that I may never be blessed with having another child naturally again. Or, the Lord could be providing this space because someday we will have a child with special needs, or someone else in the family that we can help care for while we only have one child. For whatever reason, I'm not yet pregnant again, and I thank God for this opportunity to desire children.

We know so little about ourselves in comparison with God, and we must always remember His love for us, whenever there is something we don't understand. If there's one thing we should have no control over, it's deciding when a human being should be created or not, and it's for this reason, that I love being completely open to life. It allows us to submit ourselves in a whole new way to His Holy Will, and to say, as women, "I am your handmaid, Let it be done unto me according to your will."

I thank Him for these months of patience, and I thank Him for those of you who are blessed with having children closer together, for there are lessons for all of us in the gift of family life.

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Seeing Through a Child's Eyes

Since Mina has been recognizing people and communicating more frequently in the last few weeks, it's been so fun to watch her interact with people. One day this week, Leo, Mitch, Anna and I were eating lunch and there was a man with dementia sitting at a table next to us. He started speaking to her and she smiled. He sounded crazy to us saying, "I'm going to recruit that boy for my football team, he's going to be strong." To Mina, he was a person, with eyes that she could look into and a mouth to bring a smile to. 

Mina now recognizes us and those she spends time with as familiar faces, but everyone else in the world, she loves because they're a person like her. It doesn't matter what they look like, if their mind is fading, or if they're Dustin Hoffman (who Mina met yesterday in an elevator at LAX). She smiles at them just the same. I just noticed this in her and thought it was such a beautiful reminder, of how we should all love like these innocent children.

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