no tea for me today but lots of coffee since i've been working overtime.  i feel like a ball of yarn that needs to be unravelled.  life comes at you fast, too fast these days.  i have very little time before i have to fly again, thousands of miles over the pacific, back to chile to finish some affairs. so leaving my shop assorted to, hopefully, cover some of the expenses. it will be bittersweet to return since it will be a very short trip this time around, maybe two weeks at the most.  being that it will be almost summer, i know i will want to stay longer but the budget just can't take it. although i try to stay on a postive note, transform negatives into positives, there are days when i just want to scream like liza minelli in the movie cabaret.

jose balmes painting

actually the budget is getting smaller as our economy really gets worse and worse.  i have noticed my sales going down almost 50% from last year and the year before, there are more and more of us competing to stay on top, there are more and more of us having to make major adjustments in order to make ends meet.  all the while the utilities (those necessary just to keep the wheels rolling-electricity, cable and internet) as well as food and clothing keep squeezing us tighter and tighter.  where is the change we so hoped for?  i guess it will take years and years to reverse the damage of previous presidencies.  we had it coming, we saw it coming.  what a paradoxical world we live in where we have to keep spending in order to create jobs.  the problem is our population keeps growing and sustainablity is our only option.  sustainable economics and a return to real home economics.  today was frustrating that way, pay pay pay, endlessly pay, even for my daughter's prom dress i am still paying.  please bear with me, my blog is my diary too and i can vent here even if i go back later and wipe the slate clean.

i just want to skip and hop like joanne anderson, but is there really any time left for these things as we worry over what tomorrow may bring.?  how many of us can say we do this......

i did this alot, i mean alot when my children were little

and then i had a full time job, extra curricular activities at their schools, and all the interminable chores of motherhood and wifehood.  could it be that i'm burning out or am i in denial and am already burned out.  no way, i say to myself, i have future grandchildren to welcome, hills i want to climb, mountains even, and so many unfinished art projects. 

at least i stopped for a few yesterday and managed to play my recorder 

 asi es que con este estado de animo recurro a san expedito

para que me devuelva mi equilibrio interior

well, like alexander would say, "some days are like that, even in australia"