WOULD-BE WEEBLE #1

Ubergeeks like myself understand that sometimes it's not enough to merely collect stuff. Sometimes you must spend otherwise-useful time wishing that "they" would have made different, better stuff for you to collect. Because the "they" who are behind all existing toys somehow neglected to make the best possible ones. Therefore creative collectors are forced to usher these untapped ideas into reality. Now then, there are already fantasy PEZ dispensers, custom Mego Action Figures and "What if" Aurora models to name a few, but I would like to hatch an all new sub-genre of imaginary playthings.. Would-be Weebles.

Why Weebles? Well, for reasons unknown my parents seemed to prefer them over the Fischer-Price little people, therefore playtime for me usually meant Weeble-time. But my fondness for the egg-shaped beings goes far deeper than that. I'm only slightly ashamed to reveal that the Weeble's Treasure Island set was my final reward for successful completion of toilet training. ahem. So yeah.. when your brain associates a particular toy with the sense of victory that can only come with the achievement of personal continence, well.. you can understand why I dig Weebles.

As much as I loved the ones I had, I've never been satisfied with the existing selection of Weebles. Throughout childhood I dictated a number of letters to Romper Room regarding my thoughts on new and better Weeble products. My mom recorded these ideas and actually mailed them in. My list included: the cast of Peter Pan, Casper, Sesame Street (which were eventually made), Popeye, Mickey Mouse (which were also produced later on) Scooby-Doo, Land of the Lost, Mighty Mouse, Groovie Goolies, and Star Wars.

Anyway, it recently dawned on me that with the magik of PhotoShop at my disposal, I can finally see what some of my dream Weebles might look like. Only now my wish list has changed dramatically. So I present you with the first in an ongoing series of Would-be Weebles.. Hugo, the Man of a Thousand Faces...

It's Hugo with his familiar blue lace up shirt, trademark bald head, pronounced cheek bones and icy stare.

Turn him around to reveal Hugo incognito- bearing a tourniquet, scary eye, scar and goatee.

For those unfamiliar, Hugo is a disguisable puppet that was produced by Kenner in 1975. He came with an assortment of hair, scars, glasses and facial prosthetics that you could apply with a glue stick. You may have seen my somewhat primitive "Virtual Hugo" on the Secret Fun Spot...


Hugo is just about my favorite piece of plastic ever, and a natural choice as my first fictitious Weeble rendering.
So now you've had your first look into the way things could have been.. and nothing will ever be the same. Only time will reveal additional members of this fantastic new army of imaginary Weebles.