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11:10 PM
mateng
Yesterday, I was thinking about childhood. My own and my children's. This morning, I was visiting some of my favorite blogs and was delighted to find this post by one of my all time favorite bloggers, Sandra.
Did you go read it ?
Go on ... I'll wait.
You're back ? Good.
Sandra asked this question of her readers:
"Are you planning on teaching your daughters everything you know, or do you want to leave it up to them whether they want to learn or not? "
I thought I'd answer her question here.
I am teaching my daughter everything I know ... whether she wants to learn it or not. Not only am I teaching my daughter, I am teaching my son. I've been thinking a lot about this subject lately. On a broader scale. The thought occurred to me the other day that if I don't teach my children what they need to know to be adults, how will they learn it by the time they reach adulthood ?
I see a disturbing trend happening around me in parenting circles. I am no expert but what I see is a generation of children growing up with only 'feel good' experiences. No consequences for actions or behavior. No expectation of personal responsibility. There seems to be a hesitancy for parents to allow children to experience something unpleasant that may be a natural consequence of their actions.
I'm not talking about letting your kid run in the street or jump off a roof so they 'learn their lesson.' I'm talking about saying 'no' to them, and holding fast to decisions made. I'm talking about expecting to be obeyed, and following through on consequences when not.
I'm talking about children having (age appropriate) responsibilities around the house. I read a book when Jono was a baby that made a good point ... "when babies are old enough to take toys out of their toy box, they are old enough to put the toys back in their toy box." Rory and I have lived by that ever since ... long before Jono was old enough to take toys out of his toy box !
Sure there were nights when we were tired and couldn't be bothered, but on a whole, if Jono (or Alia) played with it, they put it away ! I can honestly say that I do not pick up after my kids (who are now five and almost seven) very often. I sometimes have to remind them about something they have left in the family room, and it is usually at my suggestion that they pick up their rooms before dinner, but for the most part, they are good at keeping their things out of the public areas of the house !
They carry their own dishes to the kitchen after dinner, and then they stick around to help clear the table, put stuff away, empty and load the dish washer. We do it as a family.
They help do laundry. I wash it ... though I am thinking it may be time to teach them how to do that too. And then they hang it. I do the sheets and towels, and the big things like Rory and my jeans and shirts. But they hang their own clothes, all the undies, socks, tea towels, wash cloths. When they are dry, they fold and put away their own clothes. I do not worry about the level of 'neatness' that happens in their folding, although I must say, they do a great job. I do ask that they fold, rather than wad up in a ball. I also ask that they put their clothes in the proper drawers. I do random checks from time to time !
They make their own beds. They hang their own towels after their baths. They put their own dirty clothes in the hamper. (although Jono's have a tendency to spend some time on his floor before they get there !)
They love to help me cook and I really need to let them do that more often. They could both make pizza if I gave them the dough. They can both make sushi, once everything is chopped up. I gave Jono his first lesson at the stove the other day. Let him stir some thing. They can both use sharp knives ... ok, not SHARP knives ... but sharp for them. Small ... dull ... but they have pointy ends and they're going to do minimal damage ! The kids think they are sharp and so are learning the proper precautions !!
I hate to stop in the middle of a thought but I need to go prepare dinner. I'll pick up where I left off in my next post ...
Did you go read it ?
Go on ... I'll wait.
You're back ? Good.
Sandra asked this question of her readers:
"Are you planning on teaching your daughters everything you know, or do you want to leave it up to them whether they want to learn or not? "
I thought I'd answer her question here.
I am teaching my daughter everything I know ... whether she wants to learn it or not. Not only am I teaching my daughter, I am teaching my son. I've been thinking a lot about this subject lately. On a broader scale. The thought occurred to me the other day that if I don't teach my children what they need to know to be adults, how will they learn it by the time they reach adulthood ?
I see a disturbing trend happening around me in parenting circles. I am no expert but what I see is a generation of children growing up with only 'feel good' experiences. No consequences for actions or behavior. No expectation of personal responsibility. There seems to be a hesitancy for parents to allow children to experience something unpleasant that may be a natural consequence of their actions.
I'm not talking about letting your kid run in the street or jump off a roof so they 'learn their lesson.' I'm talking about saying 'no' to them, and holding fast to decisions made. I'm talking about expecting to be obeyed, and following through on consequences when not.
I'm talking about children having (age appropriate) responsibilities around the house. I read a book when Jono was a baby that made a good point ... "when babies are old enough to take toys out of their toy box, they are old enough to put the toys back in their toy box." Rory and I have lived by that ever since ... long before Jono was old enough to take toys out of his toy box !
Sure there were nights when we were tired and couldn't be bothered, but on a whole, if Jono (or Alia) played with it, they put it away ! I can honestly say that I do not pick up after my kids (who are now five and almost seven) very often. I sometimes have to remind them about something they have left in the family room, and it is usually at my suggestion that they pick up their rooms before dinner, but for the most part, they are good at keeping their things out of the public areas of the house !
They carry their own dishes to the kitchen after dinner, and then they stick around to help clear the table, put stuff away, empty and load the dish washer. We do it as a family.
They help do laundry. I wash it ... though I am thinking it may be time to teach them how to do that too. And then they hang it. I do the sheets and towels, and the big things like Rory and my jeans and shirts. But they hang their own clothes, all the undies, socks, tea towels, wash cloths. When they are dry, they fold and put away their own clothes. I do not worry about the level of 'neatness' that happens in their folding, although I must say, they do a great job. I do ask that they fold, rather than wad up in a ball. I also ask that they put their clothes in the proper drawers. I do random checks from time to time !
They make their own beds. They hang their own towels after their baths. They put their own dirty clothes in the hamper. (although Jono's have a tendency to spend some time on his floor before they get there !)
They love to help me cook and I really need to let them do that more often. They could both make pizza if I gave them the dough. They can both make sushi, once everything is chopped up. I gave Jono his first lesson at the stove the other day. Let him stir some thing. They can both use sharp knives ... ok, not SHARP knives ... but sharp for them. Small ... dull ... but they have pointy ends and they're going to do minimal damage ! The kids think they are sharp and so are learning the proper precautions !!
I hate to stop in the middle of a thought but I need to go prepare dinner. I'll pick up where I left off in my next post ...
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