APRIL OF FOOLS: BLACK EYE TUBE

Here's a great way to hinder promiscuity before it even has a chance to develop. Just leave this tube out where a curious young man will find it. The tube says...

"Photo view of artists models. For men only. For best view hold close to the eye and revolve slowly."

Wait for the guilty pleasure-seeker to come along and really stain up his eye socket. When the moment is right, go ahead and emerge from your hiding place as you loudly inquire "What are you trying to see, huh?" (It's even more effective if the boy's mother is in tow.) For best results bring in a young girl (as seen in photo) to reveal to the victim that he's dirtied his face (not to mention his heart). Congratulations, you've just made a public shaming! The effect will last for decades. Even as an adult this fellow will grow uneasy during Three's Company reruns.