Weddings

Well we just got back from a wedding in LA. This was the first wedding that I actually had to leave early (and not because of the babies!). It was at the old LA cathedral - they just refinished the floors, took out the altar (and St. Vibiana herself) and left everything a hollow shell. I fully realize that the church was decommissioned, but something just felt so wrong. We were tempted to drive everyone out of the Temple just like Jesus. I know there are several other Christian churches that have been transformed into restaurants/event venues, but something about knowing that Jesus' true presence used to be there just irked at me.

The beauty of struggling to get through this wedding was finally understanding why the church conducts weddings as it does and has not fallen for the secular notion of "personalize everything." It was a "church" setting with Rev. Julie and her roman collar (I won't even get into that one) and the processional had secular music which honestly made it feel more like a fashion show. Now I get why we need the more solemn music for weddings within the context of the mass: it's about Jesus!! While it may be your wedding day, the focus still needs to be on Christ, just like it needs to be for the rest of your life.

There were 2 bible passages read and part of the verdict from Goodridge vs. The Dept. of Health, Massachusetts, 2003. That'd be the case that said it was unconstitutional for gay couples to "marry." For the first time in my life I felt truly offended. It felt like a complete mockery of the sacrament and of the Christian beliefs they were professing to have those words in their ceremony. If we would have known that passage was being read during the wedding I don't think we would have gone to support them now that we know how they feel about marriage and knowing that they will not support and defend all real marriages - even their own. Sad day. Anywho this taught me why it was important to have the Liturgy of the Word be a part of the ceremony - we should all be reading and hearing it as much as possible and it should just be a natural part of our lives and something we look to when we are celebrating or grieving or anything in between.

The last thing I think I finally understand is why the Church does not let people write their own vows. From the perspective of a bride it sounds really romantic and great...not so much from a guests' point of view. I didn't really care to know that my cousin loves her new husband "like a fat kid loves cake." This is something that can go on a card or can be said in private. The choices that we have for vows really truly spell out the responsibility that we are undertaking. Promising to "love you forever because you are my soulmate" is no where near the same as vowing to love your spouse "or better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

Anywho I guess this post is somewhat of a vent for me. I'm really struggling with the way weddings are being treated in my family. Next up: another cousin has decided to "elope" to Hawaii and have a regular wedding reception when they get back because they can't afford a wedding (silly me thinking that the reception is the expensive part!)...please pray for my sanity. I never thought it'd be this difficult to convince Catholic women that having a Catholic ceremony isn't a financial or social burden!