Frustration

Ok ladies - so I guess I'll be the first to report.. I wore pants.

A couple of days into the Dare, I was getting ready to take my 16 month old on a plane trip down to visit my parents. By myself. All by myself. To some this might not be that daunting, but as a person who's never been super comfortable flying the friendly skies, and as a mama heading into her 2nd trimester with #2, this was stressful.

So, as I like to do before going on a plane trip (and even without a looming flight) I took my little one to morning Mass the day before the flight. What could prepare me more for a possible 3 hours of screaming than the Good God Himself, crucified and given to me, right?

To also help me prepare, I wore the skirt I planned to wear on the plane. Now, I hadn't worn this skirt since my last pregnancy, but thought it would be my best choice, so I pop it on, get the baby in the car and go.

Let's just say that it didn't go well. In fact, it was horrible. It was cold and raining. Someone had put a sign up that said "Mass not in Chapel today." So I trudge around, after going all around the church/school campus, I find that Mass was indeed in the chapel that day. So I'm late. And since Mass is well attended (yay!) there is only 1 seat left (boo). I sit in the pew where upon my little one starts to poke the old man next to her. Tell her to stop, she freaks out, I take her out. Realize skirt is falling off. Pull up skirt. Back in.

She decides to jump on the kneeler. Falls down. Freaks out. Can't calm her. Take her out. (On my way out, the priest puts something about unhappy children in his homily - which I don't hear totally because someone is screaming in my ear.) Pull up skirt. Back in. A lady has now moved so that I can be by the door. (Thanks!) Little one decides to run up the aisle, and to cry when the lady next to us looks at her. Freaks out multiple times, is taken out. Skirt fixed multiple times. Return multiple times. Think about leaving. Don't leave because I came here for Jesus, dang it, and I going to get Him if it kills me. Wait for noises of Communion time outside, listening at the door. Receive Him Who is Love. Entertain baby for next 2 minutes. Mass over. Almost cry when the priest asks her name.

Get in car. Cry for real as I realize: 1) Little one does not do well in tight spaces. 2) I do not do well in tight spaces. 3) Airplanes are tight spaces. 4) There is no where to take a baby "out" except for 30,000 feet below. 5) My skirt will not stay put. 6) No other skirt will work on a plane. 7) I will have to wear pants. 8) If I wear pants, I will have to say so on the blog and I'll feel like a Dress Dare failure.

Scary thing is that in that state, the thing that made me cry the most was that I would have to admit that I'd failed the Dress Dare - even though with my current wardrobe, I knew that pants were the most modest thing to wear. (Yes, I'm that prideful.) Wear pants on plane. Baby sleeps through half, only cries on descent. (Not bad!)

So, I'm sorry if this post isn't super uplifting. But it is real. And I think it was good for me to remember that Beauty through modest dress is what I am striving for and that skirts are how I am choosing to show that this month, and not skirts first (just to prove that I could) and modesty second. I still believe that skirts are beautiful and feminine and I will continue to strive to wear them for the rest of the month (except when going back home on the plane). However, skirts do not necessarily = modesty, and so I'll strive more to attain the virtue of Modesty than un-bifurcated bottoms.

And for all the girls that are trying this Dare and finding it hard, know that I've said a prayer for you especially tonight.