Who in the nude are you?

More often than not, I don't get trends. I accept that as I accept that I am not trendy and far from a fashionista. But every now and then, there are trends that are so off that I just have to question them (that means you) and hopefully get an answer.

With no further ado, I present to you what I do not understand and that is  
nude lipstick.
Paying big money to look like you're not wearing anything. It's like wearing a bodysuit while doing a nude - you look like you're naked and everybody thinks that you are showing your tatas to everybody and their grandma, but you are not. In the end, the difference is all in your head and it's all about playing games. If nobody knows it's there, is it really? Does it make a difference? Are you paying for nothing? Is your favorite fairytale that of the Emperor's new clothes?
If you just wanted to moisturize your lips, who not use a chapstick, a gloss or Eight hour cream?

Maybe it's my inner teen breaking our of her confinement again (mini-Courtney, go away!) but I must admit I just don't get it. Maybe it's not even my inner teen but my inner Dame Edna, but I don't understand why people pay money and spend time trying to look like they didn't do a thing. What is the point?

I want my make-up to liven things out. To make people blush, look away, think of blueberries with milk or start humming on a Cyndi Lauper's tune. I get black lipstick, I don't get nude lipstick.
I just don't. So please, help me out here, what is it all about?